The latest message from my Colombo station says he is an American citizen
The total number of Sri Lankans in America doesn’t number beyond a two thousand or so
That is not the end of the story in this island of intrigue. Now New Delhi is developing apoplexy over the port Hambantota
by Gamini Weerakoon (Sunday Leader)
On the Instructions of former President Mahinda Rajapaksa, I along with MP Dullas Alahapperuma went to the US during the presidential election…….. We informed the Sri Lankan community that Hillary Clinton constantly interfered in affairs of Sri Lanka .When we were about to finish off the War, it was dubbed the greatest human tragedy in the world…… It would be detrimental to the interests of Sri Lanka if she were to be elected as president – Bandula Gunawardene.
Report in a daily Lanka Newspaper
Cloistered in a room in the verdant surroundings of the CIA headquarters in Langley Fairfax Virginia, grim faced heads of America’s defence and intelligence agencies had assembled. They had been summoned by the outgoing President Barack Obama for an emergency meeting. The agenda for the conference was known only to the heads of the CIA and FBI, the subject being so sensitive to the security and national interests of America.
Director of the FBI James Comey broke the deadly silence. Gentlemen unknown to any of us a threat to the very existence of this nation – our great democracy – has been lurking among us. We have been going nuts about the Russians hacking our computer systems, stealing information and trying to interfere in our electoral process. But another insidious source has been surreptitiously moving freely among us and they are claiming very proudly of having interfered in the presidential election while imputing that their interference was a success.
Director of the NSA: China? Korea?
FBI Chief: No it’s a Third World Country with a proud 2,500-year-old history of intrigue – Sri Lanka. Read this newspaper from that country [producing a newspaper]. One guy who was among those kicked out of government two years ago is claiming that they did it – fixed Hillary because of a grudge they held against her.
NSA Chief: Yeah. I saw it. The two who claimed to have done it are not in our records. One is [reading from a paper] Bandi-ula-Gun war-dean, the other is an Alah-a-permal. May be even Muslim.
CIA Chief: No. No. This Alah-a- perumal or someone is a native son of Lanka. His first name is Dulles – may be a descendant of our founder over there [and points to a photograph of Alan Dulles, the legendary first director of the CIA hanging on the Wall].
His grandfather Miron Winslow was an American missionary in Jaffna – at Ooodoville now called Uduvil by the majority Sinhalese chauvinists.
FBI Chief: His name is Dallas not Dulles. Maybe nativisation of Dulles or may be Dallas in Texas
CIA Chief: The latest message from my Colombo station says he is an American citizen – a dual citizen of Lanka as well, MP and a sidekick of the strongman who was kicked out, one Raja Packs.
FBI CHIEF: And this Gun-Warden-e?
CIA Chief: Native son of Lanka, out and out, former private tuition teacher; outstanding intellectual in the former cabinet where the average qualification was GCE-O that is High School level in our standards.
FBI Chief: But the total number of Sri Lankans in America doesn’t number beyond a two thousand or so. Quite apart from voting for Trump against Hillary they don’t have voting rights or even resident visas having sneaked into the country on tourist visas. So how could they have decisively influenced the presidential election?
CIA Chief: Don’t underestimate them. They are master hackers. When an army general, their war hero, contested their presidential election against this Raja Paks – the leader of Alaha perum-al and Gun- War- dean and their gang.
The General who was tipped to win lost and their supporters accused Raja-Paks gang of a computer ‘Jill mart’- Lankan equivalent of hacking. And that was way back in 2010. They might have hacked into our computers to make Hillary lose. There is a crooked DNA running in some Sri Lankans. Remember the biggest insider trading deal in the New York Stock Exchange and the recent Ponzi Scam? Now they are playing deadly regional power games involving the Chinese, Indians and we Americans too. Homeland Secretary: What power game can these pawns play with the only worthwhile ship they possess being a coast guard vessel we gave them for free and their wind powered catamarans?
CIA Chief: Don’t underestimate these Third World Johnnies. Raja-Paks when in office having no cash but determined to be the president for life borrowed billions from Beijing to build ports, airports and roads to win a crucial election. He lost the election and his successors, the Government for Good Governance (GGG) couldn’t pay back the loans and interest the Chinese were demanding.
The GGG then did something good or bad. They leased the port, airport and acres and acres of land which was all a part of what Raja-Paks considered his fiefdom to the Chinese. Now Raja-Paks finds his friend has become his enemy’s friend. According to the basic rules of politics everywhere your enemy’s friend is your enemy and last week Raja-Paks brought out his goons to the streets to throw out his former Beijing friends.
The CIA Chief continued: That is not the end of the story in this island of intrigue. Now New Delhi is developing apoplexy over the port Hambantota which they say is like an aircraft carrier on their southern boundary or even worse – many aircraft carriers and don’t want the Chinese there.
But the Chinese are happy making Hambantota the biggest pearl in their necklace of pearls around the Indian Ocean.
As you know we are backing the Injuns out there in the East to encircle the Chinese. So the wily Sri Lankans are spinning their web around all three powers.
Secret Service Chief: Why don’t we ask Donald Trump to impose sanctions on these islanders?
FBI Chief: Can’t do that. They secured his victory and are anti-Hillary and anti- Obama. Trump won’t move a finger against them just like he treats Putin and Russia. CIA Chief: And let them hack into our computers with their Computer Jill Mart system? Soon we will be all wearing Sri Lankan shirts, and drinking only their tea and arrack. Is this the way to make America Great?
FBI Chief: It’s a multi-polar world whether Donald Trump likes it or not. But I must doff my hat to these two intrepid Sri Lankan Operatives Dullas Alaha Perumal and this Bandi- Gun War Dean who has changed the course of history as no other operative before. The feats of the likes of Kim Philby, Vicktor Sorge and the greatest spy masters of all time Markus Wolf are like kindergarten stories compared with that of the Sri Lankan duo has done.